Remind HN: Today is Mother's Day, call your moms

And for any mothers here, happy Mother's Day.

245 points | by rationalist 1 hour ago

19 comments

  • kstrauser 25 minutes ago
    This is the first year when I can’t do that.

    Please go do it on my behalf, while it’s possible.

    • highwaylights 15 minutes ago
      Coming up on 3 years here. I felt this. Can also confirm this is based advice.
    • AnimalMuppet 16 minutes ago
      My second. Most of the time it's fine, but... today it hit me. I don't have a mother anymore.

      So, yeah. Call while you can.

    • coalstartprob 13 minutes ago
      [dead]
  • codeulike 27 minutes ago
    Unless you're in the UK in which case it was the 15th March and you've already done it (or already missed it)
    • pluc 14 minutes ago
      Yeah I learned that today! I wonder what's the reason behind the difference.
    • nip 14 minutes ago
      And if you’re French, don’t worry, you didn’t miss it.

      It’s the 31st of May

    • pmg101 26 minutes ago
      Fourth Sunday in Lent or something, very easy to forget it!
      • beardyw 11 minutes ago
        Yes, it pre-dates the gift card (and gift) industry. I seem to recall being told it was to allow servants to go home to see their mothers. See how vaguely I framed that.
  • xyzelement 35 minutes ago
    Before I got married and had kids I thought it was a dumb Hallmark holiday.

    Now I think it's really significant and important to have an official day dedicated to recognize all the moms out there.

    Happy mother's day to all the moms out there. And all the guys that made them moms :)

  • chcardoz 0 minutes ago
    Happy mother's day to any mothers here!
  • chipgap98 40 minutes ago
    Happy Mothers Day to all the moms on HN
    • nsbk 38 minutes ago
      And Latvia
  • mastabadtomm 5 minutes ago
    I lost my father last year because of complications from severe Alzheimer's. When I saw this, I thought my mother is still with us, and I need to be grateful for that. I love you mum!
  • amunozo 36 minutes ago
    Is it always May 10 in the countries where it's now? In Spain is the first Sunday of the month.
    • unclad5968 15 minutes ago
      Second Sunday of May in the US
      • dyauspitr 11 minutes ago
        Why do they do this? Why not just have a fixed date for these things? Is it so people can use the weekend to celebrate?
        • jolmg 0 minutes ago
          For Mother's Day, possibly, but it's not always the case. Thanksgiving is on the 4th Thursday of November.
        • Moto7451 7 minutes ago
          Yes
    • jacekm 9 minutes ago
      In Poland it's on 26th of May.
    • pjmlp 29 minutes ago
      Like in Portugal, I guess it is an Iberian thing.
  • Bender 1 hour ago
    I'll have a drink in her memory.
  • croisillon 46 minutes ago
    (in the US)
  • alex7o 46 minutes ago
    How is it mother day isn't that 8 march
    • taubek 42 minutes ago
      March 8th is International Women's Day (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/International_Women%27s_Day).

      Mother’s Day is different from country to country (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mother%27s_Day)

      • nottorp 34 minutes ago
        Apparently, according to wikipedia, we have a "mother's day" in the first sunday in may. I've seen nothing in the news about it and wasn't aware of its existence.

        8 March was an entirely different animal...

    • Swizec 39 minutes ago
      March 8 is international women’s day. The most ignored of all holidays by US culture. To an almost hilarious degree.

      My partner frequently brags that she’s the only of her friends and coworkers, in 10+ years, who has ever gotten flowers for women’s day. Meanwhile even Uber drivers have wished her a happy women’s day in various heavy foreign accents.

      • drfloyd51 29 minutes ago
        I feel some editorializing going on.

        Here[0] is a list of many holidays that are ignored more than international women’s day.

        Happy International Day of Plant Health to you!

        0: https://www.un.org/en/observances/list-days-weeks

        • halb 1 minute ago
          international day of plant health is on may 12, not today!
      • ipaddr 20 minutes ago
        November 19 is international men's day. How many times have you gotten flowers on that day? Or Uber drivers wishing you a happy men's day?
        • avycado13 19 minutes ago
          lol. why arent we celebrated more
      • einpoklum 0 minutes ago
        Like May 1st which is snubbed in favor of (non-organized?) Labor Day, and, well, the metric system which has somehow still not been adopted in the US...
      • throwaway27727 31 minutes ago
        International men's day isn't a thing in the US either, so that's not surprising. Contrast to Mother's/Father's Day, which are.
      • xyzelement 32 minutes ago
        // My partner frequently brags

        March 8th is for the partners, mother's day is for the wives :)

        Just kidding but couldn't resist.

      • dyauspitr 10 minutes ago
        I wouldn’t say that. I don’t believe a men’s day even exists.
  • vishnukool 1 hour ago
    Respect. It's a good day to remember the impact they had even if they are no longer around to pick up the phone. Btw calling her now.
  • david-gpu 25 minutes ago
    I am happy for all those who celebrate.

    Quick reminder that not all mothers are good people that we must keep in touch with. For people recovering from a rough childhood, here are a couple of resources that may be useful to you:

    1. "Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents" by Gibson.

    2. https://old.reddit.com/r/AdultChildren+CPTSD+raisedbynarciss...

    • Trasmatta 3 minutes ago
      Thank you for the acknowledgement of this. Mother's Day can be intensely painful for people who had or have abusive or neglectful mothers. I think this should be acknowledged before the blanket advice of "call your mom" is given.
  • pjmlp 30 minutes ago
    Not everywhere, in Portugal it is the first May's Sunday.
  • Imustaskforhelp 24 minutes ago
    I have just come to HN from I was actually helping my mother in pressing legs as her legs sometimes hurt from pain :-(

    Gonna go help my mom again in massaging her legs, Okay shes asking me to help now, bye!

  • muzmich 12 minutes ago
    thx, I almost missed it
  • malfist 40 minutes ago
    She despises me for being gay. Not a chance I'm calling her.
    • RF_Enthusiast 15 minutes ago
      Not all moms are good people. People with good moms often have trouble understanding or respecting that.
      • dyauspitr 5 minutes ago
        Every parent in Asia would despise their son if they were gay. That does not make them bad parents.
        • smt88 1 minute ago
          [delayed]
        • Trasmatta 2 minutes ago
          This is patently and absurdly false.
        • squigz 4 minutes ago
          Yes it does.
    • sgt 24 minutes ago
      Give her a call regardless. Perhaps that's the first step to letting it sink in for her that you actually care about her.
      • Trasmatta 1 minute ago
        Bad advice when you don't know the situation. It's never a child's job to fix an abusive parent.
    • bassrattle 13 minutes ago
      She can hate the things you do and still love who you are. Shining your light where it's cold and dark is the only way to make the darkness go away. Hope this helps
      • tombert 2 minutes ago
        My mom is fine, but my grandmother has said exceedingly racist to my wife and homophobic to my sister. I haven't talked to her in years and I suspect I will not for the rest of her life.

        People act like I am a douche for this, but at this point I really see three options here. A) I roll my eyes and let her spew her stupid racist bullshit and move on, B) I push back, start an argument, and really upset my mother (whom I do like), or C) drop contact with her. C seems like the least-bad option.

        Kids owe their parents nothing. Not a single person on this planet asked to be born. If a parent (or grandparent) does something bad, the onus is not on the child to make things "right".

        People act like you have to love your family no matter what, but I think that's pretty naive. If literally anyone I didn't share DNA with said something racist about my wife then no one would give me shit for not talking to them, but suddenly because I'm related to them I just have to let this bullshit slide? Fuck that bullshit.

    • rationalist 36 minutes ago
      I'm sorry :-(
    • tempaccountabcd 35 minutes ago
      [dead]
    • twiclo 34 minutes ago
      You should call her
      • tombert 0 minutes ago
        I don't mean to be a douche, but that's an exceedingly ignorant and short-sighted statement. A child doesn't owe their parents anything. If your parent is upset about something about you that you cannot change, then that parent can rightfully go fuck themselves.

        Kids don't owe their parents anything.

      • rationalist 26 minutes ago
        I contemplating writing a reply suggesting maybe a text or email instead, but I don't know enough about OP's situation so I don't think it's appropriate to give any advice.
      • mr-wendel 8 minutes ago
        Hard disagree.

        Maybe there is a time for difficult outreach, but recommending someone to celebrate a person (and one of the most significant people in their life) whose primary emotion is disgust in response to unchosen personal attributes is remarkably insensitive. No need to salt those wounds.

        Let's hope things get better for anyone in this circumstance, but IMO it is the parent's job to make an attempt.

        --

        Nobody wants to or tries to be this kind of person, so here is my shout out today to the moms who DID find a way to work through the challenge of accepting a child whose sexuality, spirituality, politics, etc. are different than they hoped for.

      • Zambyte 30 minutes ago
        ... why?
      • llbbdd 28 minutes ago
        Lol. Call her and put on a heavy lisp
  • late_night_fix 37 minutes ago
    Appreciate the reminder,small post,big impact.Happy Mother's day to all moms here.
  • gjvc 41 minutes ago
    this is all a big conspiracy by big greeting card to sell more short-lived shit at inflated prices, on an fabricated urgent schedule, to faintly desperate offspring trying to make amends for a shocking childhood and lacklustre adult life

    do not fall for the bait

    • rationalist 24 minutes ago
      You can make your own cards, and calling doesn't require you to buy any cards. I imagine receiving a call is more enjoyable than receiving a card.
    • EB-BarringtonII 8 minutes ago
      Just a phone-call, it's not hard. Don't need to buy anything.
    • raverbashing 7 minutes ago
      And some people really sound like they were born from a hatcher.
    • xyzelement 29 minutes ago
      On the scale of 1 through 10 how happy is your wife with you in general? :)
  • xthe 22 minutes ago
    [dead]