I feel anger when I hear people saying their reason to do things was because of money. Yet, I feel fear knowing that one day it will make all the difference. My parents are immigrants who run liquor stores. My dad unfortunately is addicted to his own product; despite what it looks like to others, money is still an issue. Looking back (19m), I realize I have an unhealthy relationship with money.
What am I not understanding?
Thanks!
Your parent is an unfortunate case. I know this personally, as I was an alcoholic for many years, and I only quit relatively recently. [1] But for every alcoholic like myself there are probably a hundred people who find alcohol to truly be an enjoyable addition to their lives, well worth the downsides.
I would say don't overgeneralize from your parent's experiences. It is quite possible they may have ended up in a bad way even if they didn't run a liquor store. The true lesson the is to be cautious around alcohol yourself, as it unfortunately appears to have a strong genetic component, but do continue moving towards greater money/impact - that's almost always a life improving stance.
[1]: https://andrew-quinn.me/1000-days-without-drinking/
Money is more complicated in that it is non-linear. 0 to 100k is more effectful on your life than 1m to 1.1m.
Same with your money as participant in the economy. Maintaining a healthy flow and preparing for the future is a good idea. But remember that fundamentally money is supposed to be a measure of value, not value itself (the tragedy of our society is confusing the map with the territory).
Continue focusing on impact and the money will follow. At the same time you still want to have a healthy balance and stable trajectory on the day-to-day and month-to-month without that turning into minmaxing or letting it direct your life-choices to an unhealthy degree. You'll probably want some form of income - not necessarily in the 1%.
If you have enough money and you can stop worrying about it, that seems like a healthy relationship with money. When you don't have much, it's a good thing to focus on, but prioritizing other things is great, if you can.
You can also work a normal job to make reliable money to support yourself, and allocate some of your earnings to help others and make an impact… or even just your time. This can help bring some more purpose to your work, regardless of what it is.