This is a semi throwaway acct so I can be dumb and learn stuff
Career/partial life bio
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May 2026
Getting better at talking to chicks. Day 2 was not a success. I tried to close on 3 girls, was delayed/said to try another time, granted it was a Wednesday night. I have 3 more nights this week lol.
I'm just wondering will I go back to the scared guy depending on alcohol to talk to chicks or did I gain some real confidence like "it's not a big deal". That's what I'm trying to find out... was thinking I could sleep with a new girl every weekend that would be crazy. I'm not that attractive.
My life's on autopilot for now, focusing on trying to smash again. At least while this music fest is happening. Then I gotta commit to trying to launch a product/get that windfall, get out of debt then move to a desert and buy my dream sports car. And get with more girls ha. It's like a drug though being built/muscular and interacting with so many hot women at bars. Still working on my anxiety but now I know I can do it. I want to get more ripped I have the v-taper build, I want the abs and droot.
Man it's crazy my like life priorities have shifted now. I want to meet more chicks is what's on my mind lol. I was grinding/trying to make money. I still need that as a base, the bod the cash but yeah. The meaningless one night stand sex does suck though like I have nothing no love afterwards. Back to being alone.
Damn I got laid last night, was crazy. My mind has just shifted like I want to fuck more women. I unfortunately failed to perform lol when I'm drinking. It was so empty, she was professor though younger than me and she told me straight up it's just sex. But yeah now I don't want to speed anymore, just gonna go out more and get with more girls. I finger fucked her so hard the back of my hand was sore the next day was crazy but she did finish.
Man I'm so poor... need to fix that, I have high income but also a shit ton of debt so I live check to check.
Next day it's fixed, just convert the SAM IaC to CDK with the magic of AI damn.
Things are tense right now, stood up some infra, turns out a piece doesn't work. Now I gotta abandon learning and just use AI to fix it. Sad, been hearing things at work too like "what took 4 months to build can be done in 30 minutes" and you know you need your job so you're just sitting there like wow yeah! (claps hands)
Ugh so bored sitting here at this job. I don't have a choice because I'm poor, I put myself here. My job is fine just having a job sucks in general, other things I want to be doing. Need to keep my eye on the goal.
Funny a new AI tool was introduced at work to develop Vue components and other people talked about quitting too as that was their job/specialty being Vue developers damn... feels bad man.
F me... I'll do it until I can get out of the industry damn it.
Damn it... now I'm like nvm... I'll keep my job. I have a good job, it's innovation department currently reverse engineering camera glasses. Pay is decent... mostly don't want to deal with transition to new role... idk maybe I'm just not being strong mentally. But mostly I think the only way to escape forced AI is to not be in the industry.
Well job hunting after all, maybe futile (AI is forced everywhere).
Damn I feel bad, I'm the hardware guy in the innov dept I'm in and I had another person look at these glasses I had to take em back. But I was hired for this role hardware so idk why I feel bad.
Previous mental samples
https://pastebin.com/94Eu8sgP (Apr 2026) https://pastebin.com/7Hu0QDuR (Mar 2026) https://pastebin.com/XqQ7rStx (Jan-Feb 2026) https://pastebin.com/KYN3SpMf (2025) https://pastebin.com/5xCTbGsu (2023 - Mar 2025)