Definitely not Windows (Win 11 parody)

(definitelynotwindows.com)

90 points | by jjbinx007 51 minutes ago

21 comments

  • paavohtl 12 minutes ago
    I can tell this is fake from the fact the explorer context menu and the start menu open in under 2 seconds (on a top end Ryzen CPU, nonetheless).
  • jedbrooke 7 minutes ago
    It’s too snappy and responsive, real windows I gotta wait with the spinning blue ring thing for a few seconds after clicking ‘x’ on the notifications. That is when they’re generous enough to give an ‘x’ and not force the user through some onboarding flow with no easy way to opt out
  • throooooo 9 minutes ago
    I can feel my blood pressure raising. Very accurate to the Windows experience.
  • doawoo 0 minutes ago
    > Windows is activated with a digital license. The parody watermark will remain because it is part of the joke.

    Thank you for a good laugh

  • bradfitz 20 minutes ago
    This is not realistic; the start menu opens way too quickly.
    • marcosdumay 1 minute ago
      True, but the search fails to reduce the number of options, so some things are right.
  • accrual 10 minutes ago
    This is insanely good and mimics my personal experience of Windows these days. I literally say "pop-up! pop-up! pop-up!" out loud during a normal workday where one pop-up or prompt is rapidly replaced by another. Same app or different, doesn't matter, there's always something trying to grab attention on a Windows desktop unless you configure the hell out of it (and even that is no longer enough).

    My favorite "joke" from this site:

    > Scan complete: 1 threat found — ChromeSetup.exe

    FWIW, I switched to Fedora in January and have no plans to look back. Only $dayjob relies on Windows anymore.

    • MarkusWandel 5 minutes ago
      "always something trying to grab attention", that's the root problem right there. Even on a work computer unless you've changed your homepage, every time you open a tab on Edge you get a screen full of distraction clickbait. And then you wonder why you never manage to concentrate any more.
    • cwnyth 2 minutes ago
      Welcome to Fedora! I've missed literally nothing about Windows since switching to it about a decade ago now (around the time they announced Win7 EOL), and every time I had to use it for work (thankfully never these days), I grew more and more confident that I never will need to return and that Windows is only getting worse.
  • metadat 14 minutes ago
    Win XP was peak computing for the masses, and most didn’t have a clue!
    • cwnyth 0 minutes ago
      A mature Windows 7 wasn't terrible. You could easily configure it so that it stayed out of your way, and only the updates were a headache. Windows 8 and those beyond were all downright atrocious. While I had dabbled in Linux for years before then, announcing Win7 EOL finally pushed me 100% into the Linux camp.
    • throooooo 13 minutes ago
      I preferred 2000, but admit that didn't make it to the masses.
  • sensanaty 4 minutes ago
    My mother-in-law bought a new laptop last week and asked me to set it up for her, it came with Win11 by default. I was genuinely flabbergasted at how terrible of an experience it was, screen after screen of "We respect your privacy. Let Microsoft collect every single thing you have ever dared to breath onto this computer?" right in the install screen. After that lovely experience you're greeted with a billion random junkware preinstalled like fucking Candy Crush. I wanted to crash out when I clicked around in explorer and saw every UI element buffer for a split second, and after further research it seems they're using React in explorer these days.

    What the hell happened?

  • sagarayi 0 minutes ago
    this is too much fun. nice one :)
  • gpvos 10 minutes ago
    The "fix everything" button should link to a Linux installer.
  • riskable 10 minutes ago
    Proving once again that Windows isn't ready for the desktop.
  • rasse 22 minutes ago
    Stop giving Microsoft ideas!
  • Dwedit 8 minutes ago
    Back when Windows RG (2001) was considered a sharp mockery.
  • CobraMode 12 minutes ago
    Start menu comes up too fast.
  • eej71 8 minutes ago
    Parodies are supposed to be fun!

    That wasn't fun. At all.

    screams into pillow

  • ICHx 8 minutes ago
    so much rage seeing this
  • lmc 27 minutes ago
    Please add deep linking or something so back doesn't mean starting from scratch
    • Cyan488 8 minutes ago
      I don't know about you but after a few seconds, I wanted to get out of there as fast as possible.

      I'm glad I didn't have to spam the back button to do it.

  • dverlaeckt80 31 minutes ago
    LOL. Well made, give me more than a few chuckles :)

    "Windows is taking its time for your convenience"..

    • tosti 22 minutes ago
      "Your privacy is important"
  • kerv 10 minutes ago
    who else got rickrolled?
  • thomasmarton 30 minutes ago
    > Win 11 parody

    I'm sorry but where is the parody?

    - A Win11 Home user

    • w4yai 27 minutes ago
      I'm also a Windows user (and a Linux one too, no worries guys), and I must admit, this parody is a little bit real ...
  • FpUser 21 minutes ago
    Lol. Love it but for some reason my windows does not do any of that
    • throooooo 5 minutes ago
      Really? My Win 11 install (sparsely used nowadays) is nag city. Set up OneDrive, activate cloud backups, sign into your Microsoft account, oops Xbox Game Bar popped up because I pressed some key combination, reboot (a few times) to finish updates, set up copilot, error installing update, reboot before installing update, etc.