What British people mean when they say 'sorry'

(bbc.com)

42 points | by BiraIgnacio 5 hours ago

11 comments

  • Izkata 1 hour ago
    Isn't this just... normal? Maybe they use it more often, but (also in the Midwest as other comments mention) these uses are all more common than an actual apology.

    But for a more distant example of the "I'm about to inconvenience you" usage being normal - isn't the Japanese "sumimasen" used almost exactly the same as these?

    • roarcher 17 minutes ago
      > Isn't this just... normal?

      In the anglosphere maybe, but outside of that it seems to not be. My girlfriend is from SE Asia and her language's equivalent is evidently used exclusively to apologize for having wronged someone. I've had to explain my usage of "I'm sorry that [bad thing happened]" or "Sorry, but can I just [very minorly inconvenience you]" because she didn't understand what I was admitting fault for.

      In her language I believe they use different politeness markers for these situations (they have an "excuse me" equivalent), but I'm not proficient enough to know them well.

      • ccppurcell 9 minutes ago
        The I'm sorry (that someone died) is easy to explain as it's obviously connected to the word sorrow. The hardest is "sorry?" (I didn't understand or hear you)
  • enochthered 2 hours ago
    I’m a Brit. It was only after living overseas that I realised just how mad our use of “sorry” can be.

    An example. One day I was on the tube. My bag was on the seat next to me. A bloke gets on, points at my bag and says “sorry”.

    What he actually meant, was “move your bag”.

    The thing is, if he had said something so direct, I would have said “sorry, what did you say to me?”

    And on and on…

    • thrownthatway 8 minutes ago
      Reminds me of that Hale and Pace skit on the street.

      https://youtu.be/VRmjbvChV_M

    • dieselgate 34 minutes ago
      I grew up in the states with a close friend whose parents are both from the UK and she's the only person I've known to say "I beg your pardon" with regularity. Is that a British/UK English thing too? I never hear/read it used otherwise but it seems more succinct and "proper" to me.

      Mentioning it because I'm actually slightly surprised to see the "sorry, what did you say" usage here and in the article because it seems so pedestrian

    • protocolture 32 minutes ago
      Eh its sorry for "sorry would you mind terribly moving your bag" nothing so direct as move your bag alone.
  • analog31 3 hours ago
    Oddly enough "sorry" is also quite common in the upper Midwest US. If I bump into someone else by accident, and it's my fault, they will reflexively say "sorry."
    • milleramp 11 minutes ago
      In Los Angeles, its the same in person, in a car it's the finger. (Unfortunately)
    • AngryData 2 hours ago
      Yeah, this would read just as well for the upper midwest. Although "Ope!" is also interchangeable with sorry in a lot of situations.
    • brg 2 hours ago
      From Green Bay to Dickinson, the complete utterance is “Op Sorry.” If one is not in a hurry it is sometimes “Oops, Sorry.”
      • RajT88 56 minutes ago
        I say "ope, sorry". Never realized it until I saw the midwest memes.
      • analog31 1 hour ago
        That's quite a ways.
        • dmoy 54 minutes ago
          I'd argue it's not just Green Bay-Dickenson on the east end, but also extending to like souix falls/Fargo on the west end

          "Oop, sorry" was viscerally familiar to me

  • RajT88 56 minutes ago
    The British have a similarly strange relationship with the word "Brilliant".
  • ghostpepper 1 hour ago
    This is how it's used in Canada too
    • beefsack 41 minutes ago
      I think it would be the case in many of the commonwealth countries. You hear "sorry" being used a lot like this in Australia too.
  • thehoff 3 hours ago
    I’m in the US and definitely have heard these in similar situations.

    Another I don’t think was listed is a way to blunt an aggressive statement just in case there may be a misunderstanding.

    “WTF did you just say to me?”

    Might be “Sorry, but WTF did you just say to me?” would imply some anger that could lead to a fight but hey, sorry maybe I misheard you?

    Which could funny enough lead to more sorries “oh, sorry I thought you said something else”.

    • Fnoord 1 hour ago
      I suppose it is a variant on 'could you repeat that please?' which is a fun question to ask my kids when they were rude cause they'll repeat it (no filter / literally).

      I used to always put my bag next to me cause I don't want to sit next to someone (when I was a kid, it'd hurt me when I was solo sitting alone in whole bus, but I learned to embrace that instead). Nowadays, people just point at the bag, and during primetime it is just annoying having to ask (esp someone pretending to sleep, on phone, or lookibg outside) because yes we all don't like the bus is full, we all wanna get to work/home. So I learned to just start with my bag between my legs or on my lap instead. And, since the bag doesn't pay for a ticket, it has no right to a seat.

      So in Borderlands 4, one of the voice lines by the Siren called Vex after a kill is 'sorry not sorry'. But given the CEO of that company is Texan, I couldn't pinpoint how rude (if any) that was. Not like they can hear you after a frag anyway.

      Some British slang is just lovely. Such as smoking a fag. In that regard, too bad I don't smoke anymore.

      But in the instance of sorry, I assumed it was American, since Brits would say 'excuse me'. Brits are, after all, very polite (I'm Dutch...)

    • stvltvs 2 hours ago
      "Sorry, I thought I heard you say _____, but that's all an unfortunate misunderstanding because otherwise you're in deep shit, right?"
  • stavros 3 hours ago
    This is 100% accurate. I've seen someone apologizing for being stepped on (accidentally, of course). It really does mean "we have, unfortunately and inadvertently, crossed paths and must now ward off the evil spirits by acknowledging this".
    • toast0 1 hour ago
      > I've seen someone apologizing for being stepped on

      It is really rude to step underneath other people. Or to lay underneath other people. No wonder they appologized.

  • nutjob2 1 hour ago
    'Sorry' serves the same purpose as 'excuse me', 'yeah' or 'okay' in that it has a multitude of meanings depending on tone, intonation and context.

    For instance 'yeah' can mean 'yes, continue', agreement, skepticism, (sarcastic) disagreement, enthusiasm, etc.

    The cultural difference is what word is most commonly used.

  • soopypoos 1 hour ago

      sorry that you're a cunt, now 
    
      1) get out of my way
      2) speak up
      3) get out of my fucking way
      4) stop being a cunt for a bit (and get out of my way)
      5) shut up
      6) fuck off
  • _jackdk_ 41 minutes ago
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