Ask HN: Go all-in on AI Boom vs. enjoy parenthood?

After many years of working hard, my wife and I finally decided to have a kid recently. I am looking forward to spending a lot more time with her, while working just a 9-5. However, the AI boom seems like a short-lived, once in a life-time opportunity. Now I am considering if I should dive in fully even if it means sacrificing time with family?

Options: 1) Joining an AI startup 2) Founding an AI startup 3) Stay at my big-tech role

I make good money at my current role, but I am extremely passionate about the work I do. With the AI boom, there seems to be a lot of great infra, data movement and algorithmic challenges on the table. However, it is also clear that options 1 and 2 seem to require a lot more time commitment than a simple 9-5 job.

There are also financial considerations. If AI affects the SWE job market in a meaningful way, my future salary will be drastically low. Maybe it makes sense to devote myself to work for 3-5 more years and make a lot more money in the short term? I understand that there is also some probability associated with the final amount I walk away with.

Any others thinking about how to approach the AI boom vs leaning in fully to parenthood?

8 points | by pratchett 6 hours ago

12 comments

  • uberman 6 hours ago
    I've been a dev at a big tech company, a consultant, a tech lead at a huge manufacturer, a founder, an educator, and a father. Here are my three bits of advice.

    1) You can never get back your kid's childhood no mater how hard you work.

    2) The time to take big financial risks for big financial rewards was before you had a family, particularly before you had a kid.

    3) Getting a new well paying job at a big tech company in the event that your AI asperations don't come to fruition is likely going to be a challenge. At least that is my understanding from what I read about the current economic landscape.

    The way people talk about AI powered everything reminds me of how people talked about block chain powered everything a few years ago. Don't get me wrong, I love working with Claude but I get the distinct impression that many marketing people confuse a case statement as being "Powered by AI". I use AI code assist every day but I'm not going to bet the farm on joining/founding a startup that is "Zillow for <something> powered by AI".

  • eucryphia 1 hour ago
    That day they don’t want to hold your hand while crossing the road, comes around WAY too soon.

    You and your partner have already achieved your first life goal as a human, work on the next two, then everything else is a bonus.

    Enjoy yourself until it’s time to help with your, hopefully, nine grandchildren.

  • nrhrjrjrjtntbt 4 hours ago
    False trichotomy. Big tech (or big AI e.g. OpenAI, Anthropic) has way more interesting AI / infra challenges than the dorm room startup where you share a bunk with the founder and work 9 9 6 or 100hr weeks building a flaky gpt wrapper.

    Stay in big tech (baby or no baby) for interesting work. Id aim to get the skills to be chased if passionate. Also gaining skills fits around family life more than being chucked on a plane last minute for client meeting.

  • PaulHoule 6 hours ago
    I can't imagine a person who's asking this question is cut out for (2)
    • pratchett 5 hours ago
      Haha, I definitely think you've figured me out. I also tell people that I'm probably too cynical about tech to be a founder.
  • BeetleB 6 hours ago
    Enjoy parenthood. Your kid will be a baby/kid only once.

    And I assure you: Whenever you are pondering "taking it easy and spending time with family", there will be yet another cool thing to give you an excuse not to.

  • lbhdc 6 hours ago
    3. Take the good benefits, and hopefully good work life balance and maximize for time with your family. There is always going to be the next thing. Find ways to satiate your curiosity (like attending conferences), while savoring time with your kid because you aren't busy/burntout from grinding at a startup :)
  • softwaredoug 5 hours ago
    I’d do the startups only if they’re once in a lifetime opportunities. I’ve seen that work for people with young kids because it would eat them up inside NOT to do it.

    But probably not to just “get startup experience”. Having a kid is a time to not upset your routines if you can manage it. Startups have very wide variance in experiences compared to roles at big company in my experience. Just switching jobs would be difficult.

    I had a cushy year at a comfortable job when my first kid was born. I did more the founder thing (write a career changing book) when my second kid was born.

  • smt88 6 hours ago
    Spending time with your kid is also a once in a lifetime opportunity (for the kid). Think about your family reading this in 30 years and I think the answer is clear.
    • harryquach 5 hours ago
      This is the way. A common theme for older people is wishing they worked less and spent more time with family. I have two kids and cant imagine sacrificing more time than absolutely necessary working. Once my first was born, my priorities immediately changed. Its difficult to describe but work instantly became a lower priority.
    • pratchett 5 hours ago
      Wow, that's a great way to look at the issue. Thanks for the perspective.
  • raw_anon_1111 5 hours ago
    1. Most likely will fail and will be underpaying you and offer you illiquid equity that you can’t use.

    2. Will also statistically fail and won’t offer you income.

    3. Guaranteed money.

  • rrmdp 4 hours ago
    Spend as much time as possible with your kid. My daughter is 15 y/o, and even I was lucky to spend time with her because I started working remotely 16 years ago my only regret in life is not spending more time with her, one day you realize she is not a kid anymore and you don't understand how happened that fast.
  • AnimalMuppet 2 hours ago
    In addition to what others have said (lots of good advice here), once-in-a-lifetime opportunities come around more often than you expect.
  • Ekaros 5 hours ago
    I am a sceptic and pessimist. So I would say it is probably already too late to hope on the hype train.

    So better take it easy now and wait for next once in a life-time opportunity. There will always be more. And if there is not stability is much more needed.