Ask HN: How do you talk about past jobs you regret in interviews

I'm currently interviewing for new roles and while I did do some pretty cool work in my last role, I really struggle to talk about any of it in a remotely positive away. It's a period of my life where I was mostly unhappy and the endless arbitrary deadlines only compounded it, resulting in me staying there for several years too long just from feeling too busy to look at alternatives. While I don't think very highly of the company or upper-management, my disappointment and regret is mostly directed towards myself for not getting out of there years earlier.

Obviously complaining about the company or my personal situation at that time to a new prospective employer is an absolute no go. With how long I stayed it's virtually impossible to talk about older roles or just blitz my way through listing out the technologies I used; I have to talk about this one role, in detail, multiple times with every company.

Has anyone else had to deal with a similar issue? What kind of solutions did you come up with for it and have you done anything since to ensure you don't wind up in similar situations again.

5 points | by newacc250218 2 days ago

7 comments

  • siminm 2 days ago
    1) It sounds like you have a decent amount of negativity built up from your previous role, and you haven't quite vented it all out. Get it out of your system -- talk to a friend that gets how annoying that was and vent until you're tired of talking about it. Get heard and you'll feel like the negativity is finally behind you.

    2) Think about the opportunities that your previous job gave you. Specifically opportunities. Every time a negative thought comes up, ask "What was my opportunity at that moment?" and write down your answer. Opportunity to disagree and commit? Great. Opportunity to solidify your understanding of your own values? Great! Opportunity to challenge yourself and work on something outside of your comfort zone? etc. Write those down and brag about them to your next amazing job!

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    • brudgers 5 hours ago
      talk to a friend

      Or a therapist because the experience has a negative impact on the ability "to function" to the degree that finding a job is "functioning."

      ["Scare quotes" to clarify I am not making value assumptions about the OP]

  • alganet 2 hours ago
    There are many interview guides available on the internet. They often contain good advice for how to behave in an interview.

    There's no secret, actually. Be kind and be honest.

  • muzani 2 hours ago
    We ask this question in interviews too. One purpose is we want people who disagree and can handle this maturely. Everyone has negative experiences. People who don't have likely never tried anything difficult. But you have to be diplomatic about this.

    Practice it. Write the answer. Go over it for 20 hours. Treat it like a presentation because it is. I go so far as to make an AI "interviewer" in Vapi so I can voice it out, and you can mod the tone to be supportive, indifferent, sarcastic, etc.

    If you're disappointed with yourself, say that. Humans make mistakes. Someone out there started smoking or drinking once. Someone had an affair. You don't know which of your interviewers did which, but you can assume that everyone has done something they knew was a bad idea.

    It's also reasonable to assume that an applicant is leaving for reasons. Bored? Wants more money? That's a pretty bad reason. Unhappy? That's a much better reason. What's the catch? Why is this property on the market for cheap? A trick is to imply what people want to hear - you're looking to work with smarter people, better processes, get your shit together, etc.

  • dtagames 2 days ago
    There is always a positive takeaway after you get enough distance from something. My last studio was a complete catastrophe. I was angry for a while after they laid us all off. But I realized that I had been given a college education in how Big Gaming really works and been paid 2 years of salary to attend. I took that education to do my next thing that I'm working on now.
  • riyanapatel 2 days ago
    The truth is, while you had past jobs you hated or regretted it, you got something out of it. You learned to deal with difficult people, you learned to manage hard situations, you navigated through tumultuous times, you learned a ton about growing, and you found out what you were capable of even in the darkest times. If anything, this can be super positive. You can also just say your past roles "were a good start to your career but didn't fit my future goals as much as this role does" and then jump in to what you want to do in your future and how this role fits.
  • mytailorisrich 2 days ago
    Find positive and useful things you did or learned there and invent a story around them to tell at interviews.

    While you don't want to lie about your qualifications, achievements, titles, responsibilities, I don't see an issue with inventing a story to get these points across. It doesn't matter.

  • PaulHoule 2 days ago
    If you did do "pretty cool work" be prepared to say what was cool about it. It may be a struggle but it's what you have to do.